Sorry guys it has been a few days since I wrote. I feel what is the point i just get more stupid by the day I think. So things with J are still pretty much the same. His brother is gone back home so of course eh is calling em like crazy and just showing up at the house and wanting to come home. He tried to tell him his stupid lie of what he did all weekend. Why lie? If you are going to admit to me you smoked ice and paid for all 3 of your friends to do it to why would it matter all the other stuff about the weekend. He changed his number again so nobody would have it. I let him stay here the other night to talk about things. First thing he did after not seeing the kids for a week was started gripping at them. I would assume that afterw hat he did to us AGAIN please note AGAIN he would be a little appriaciative that we let him have a chance to come home. I thought possibly he could change he left a message with a drug councelor to get an appointment (then a changed his number and still for 3 days hasnt called to give the new number so I guess he wont be going there). Anyways I thought he could be really sweet and bnice tous and be happy! No he came home acting just liek he didnt do what he did and was never gone..... I dont think so You made me completely miserable before and you arent going to coem home and act to be a little sorry and happy to be home. I ended up telling him that I didn't want him there but it was already like 11:00 and he had o be up at 3 for work so I knew he wouldnt leave but I slept on the couch and told him to be sure and take all his shit he brought with him in the morning.
Then the next day when he got off you know he didnt have any plans to go and get his kids but my oldest daughter cut her head open and I had to leave work early and take her to the er. He got off work went and did a few things he needed to do I was assuming he would come up there, she did have to get staples in her head and that can be tramatic for a 5 year old. No, when I asked him "Are you coming up here?" His response was " No, its not liek sheis in icu and you are there, I don't want to come up there and just sit for hours". He is such a half ass parentif even that. Finally after sitting there for hours( and yes I mean hours) he comes up there. She was really happy he was there, she wouldnt even hold my hand while they did it she had to hold his. I hate tht the kids want him so bad and yet he doesnt want to be there. He kept telling me" me and you arent even getting along, why would I come" Why does he not get he wasnt there for me it was for her. Then I had to hear the whole time " We are going to work this out, can I come home tonight" and "Do I get a thank you I am here arent I" FUCK HIM!!!!! I hate him so damn much!!!!
Oh yeah then after we leave I called him later on and he wasnt answering and then a few minutes later he called me. He told me he just went driving around to clear his head. REally, Does he think I am that stupid??????????
Well had toget a little out so now I gotta go and clean my house. I missed church this morning. I didnt feel like going cause I stayed up late watching forensic files and body of evidence then got scared and couldnt sleep. For the ones of you that post comments I am not sure if I am suppose to reply or even how to reply to it, so please know I really do appriciate it and thank yall so much you do really make me feel better!!!!!